I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
