I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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