I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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