Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the raccoons are back...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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