i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
