I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
