it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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