opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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