that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
false alarm. still invincible.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
