I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
