Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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