She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
