That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
