I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
