he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
