Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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