Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
