Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How naked do you want me to be?
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