i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
