Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
