listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
