We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
