dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
