i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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