I just pynch a tree in the face
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
