WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
