It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
