We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
