One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
