this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
