Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
