i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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