Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
