i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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