they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
