I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
