the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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