what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
