I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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