wakey wakey hands off snakey
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
