you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
