She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
