He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
