found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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