he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
