so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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