um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
