Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She announced her abortion via fbk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
