It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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