in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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