U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
